January is a favorite time to set new goals, to create new resolutions, to think about all the things you haven't been doing but should be. Most of us create resolutions that are fairly vague. They're usually about things we want to get done during the year, but more often than not we have zero to little structure around the ways in which we might accomplish these goals. If your goal is weight loss (perennial favorite), for instance, you'd be best to go about it by starting a regular workout schedule, eating better, and all the rest. But how much easier would this be if you hired a personal trainer and chef to keep you on track? A lot. Most of us don't have the money to hire other people to help us see us through our goals, but there are smaller things you can be doing to follow through with the things you want to accomplish this year.
First, I encourage you to go beyond goal-setting. New year's resolutions need to be more than a goal. They need to have some kind of energy attached to them. They require passion. Or they just won't get done. Setting an intention is going a step beyond goal-setting. It's seeing yourself in that next phase. It's visualizing yourself achieving the goal and being in a new place, a step or two beyond where you are now.
One you've done the visualization and figured out where you want to be, consider getting into group settings that encourage you, that help you bring your intention into a more public space. You can do this by joining a group. If you're a writer and you don't already have a writing group, join one. Go to workshops. There are day-long workshops and weekend workshops on every topic under the sun. One of my own personal goals for 2008 is to hold four workshops. Beyond that, I want to attend at least that many. I kicked off this year by attending a David Whyte weekend at Mount Madonna Center last weekend. David's weekend promised to illuminate the invisible. It's important to take time away from your routine, to join others in a space that celebrates getting in touch with your inner intentions and your inner greatness. Sometimes spending a weekend outside of the pressures that you're feeling just to start, to be creative, and to get going with your goals is exactly the thing you need to allow the space for those things to happen.
Lastly, set up accountabilities. I believe that the best accountability system out there is actually having a coach who you're talking to on a regular basis, checking in with about whether you're on track with your own goals. But if you're struggling with the idea of whether you need or want a coach, then consider telling people (someone you trust to hold you to your commitment) your goals or your intentions and asking them to check in with you about it from time to time. It's a baby step toward more intense accountability, but it's a good start. And it might help you realize the value of accountability. There's a reason why lessons work. You have a lesson and the teacher expects you to practice during the week. If you never practice and there's no progress then the teacher will expect answers. You might start questioning why you're taking lessons in the first place. Every goal you're serious about, therefore, should be treated as something you'd be willing to take a lesson in, to have a teacher hold you to your intention to make progress.
If you're serious about tackling a new project or creating an ongoing writing practice, I encourage you to start with step one and move through to step three, or to tackle all of these over the course of this year. It'll change your life. I promise.
Until next month.
---Brooke
January 21, 2008
December 27, 2007
procrastination: the source of so many excuses
Procrastination is the theme of this month's newsletter. Yes, it's the 27th, and yes, I'm just now getting to this. We all do it, but what is it all about and why do we succumb so easily?
There are lots of reasons. Some of us are just plain overwhelmed. Some of us need deadlines and accountability to be able to make progress with our goals. Some of us have amazing ideas and creative juices flowing, but it's just too much going on in our heads all at once and we don't know where to start.
Procrastination is the key reason why many writers aren't making progress on their articles, their novels, their screenplays, their book proposals. And a lot of times the more you procrastinate the more burdened you feel. It's like the friend you were supposed to call last month. With each passing week it gets more and more pressured and more and more awkward until you feel that pressure cooker feeling and just try to squeeze it to some nether region of your brain. But it always has a little hold on you, doesn't it? And when it comes to your passions, the things you're not doing for this reason or that, it's a lot worse, because that shoulding---no matter how far back you try to push it---crops up over and over again.
So December was a month for procrastinating. And we have such good excuses. We're Christmas shopping. There are more family demands than usual. Work feels crazy. I had my own personal excuse: I moved. Or I got sick. And I did, but even I know that that shouldn't mean the whole month has to go down the toilet where my goals and forward-movement is concerned.
So January. Sweet January. We have such high hopes for you. A month predicated on ringing in the new. Out with the bad old habits. In with the resolutions and promises to dedicate more time to the things we love to do for ourselves.
If you're a bad procrastinator, a king or queen of excuses and reasons why you're not getting to all the side projects you have and things you love, do consider getting a coach. Try a free session. It's amazing what accountability can do for you. And by this time next year you'll be reading this post and thinking to yourself, That's not me.
Until next time. Happy New Year.
---Brooke
There are lots of reasons. Some of us are just plain overwhelmed. Some of us need deadlines and accountability to be able to make progress with our goals. Some of us have amazing ideas and creative juices flowing, but it's just too much going on in our heads all at once and we don't know where to start.
Procrastination is the key reason why many writers aren't making progress on their articles, their novels, their screenplays, their book proposals. And a lot of times the more you procrastinate the more burdened you feel. It's like the friend you were supposed to call last month. With each passing week it gets more and more pressured and more and more awkward until you feel that pressure cooker feeling and just try to squeeze it to some nether region of your brain. But it always has a little hold on you, doesn't it? And when it comes to your passions, the things you're not doing for this reason or that, it's a lot worse, because that shoulding---no matter how far back you try to push it---crops up over and over again.
So December was a month for procrastinating. And we have such good excuses. We're Christmas shopping. There are more family demands than usual. Work feels crazy. I had my own personal excuse: I moved. Or I got sick. And I did, but even I know that that shouldn't mean the whole month has to go down the toilet where my goals and forward-movement is concerned.
So January. Sweet January. We have such high hopes for you. A month predicated on ringing in the new. Out with the bad old habits. In with the resolutions and promises to dedicate more time to the things we love to do for ourselves.
If you're a bad procrastinator, a king or queen of excuses and reasons why you're not getting to all the side projects you have and things you love, do consider getting a coach. Try a free session. It's amazing what accountability can do for you. And by this time next year you'll be reading this post and thinking to yourself, That's not me.
Until next time. Happy New Year.
---Brooke
November 10, 2007
November: Tell Your Saboteur to Take a Hike
The saboteur goes by many names, and most of us have more than one. In fact, most of us have a whole committee of saboteurs---the voices in our heads that tell us we're not good enough, or that we don't have enough time. Saboteurs like to say things like, "If you can't sell your book for $50,000 then why bother?" Or, "What in the world made you think you can write? That paragraph sucks!" Yeah, they're nasty little devils.
Saboteurs are very sophisticated, though. It's not like you can just take notice and then move right along into a space of creativity, joy, and massive output. No. They generally have the upper hand. We usually believe what they say because they know how to reach into the places in our hearts and minds where we're most vulnerable. They're always in attack mode. They like to guilt us, put us down, condescend. The biggest achievement a saboteur can claim is making you feel anxious, stalled out, and empty. Sound familiar?
There are strategies for dealing with saboteurs, though. The first step is noticing them and being aware that these are in fact saboteurs, and that you can tell them to go take a hike. You do not have to put up with their insults and destructive behavior. One really cool thing to do is visualize your saboteurs. You know that one who tells you not to worry about writing? You can do it tomorrow. Or hey, why not this weekend? There's an interesting show on TV tonight. Let's call this one Patty Procrastinator. She's a real gem. Super helpful, isn't she? If we took a moment to visualize her she might be decked out in week-old pajamas. She'd have a bag of chips in one hand and a Supersize soda in the other. She'd be ready to hit the couch and veg out in a serious way. Maybe your own procrastinator looks a little different. Maybe yours is super busy cleaning the house, so much so that she's convinced you that that's a way better use of your time than sitting down to that damned computer and trying to punch out a few lines that could always be written tomorrow. And they'd probably be way smarter and better tomorrow anyways!
If you can learn to notice, name, and visualize your saboteurs, you're well on your way to having a more productive writing practice. There are all sorts of ways to deal with them that are really fun. One of my recurring saboteurs is a real jerk. He's not nice to me. Makes me feel bad about myself. He's got a big mouth. I decided to set up a little prison for him on my desk, and if and when he appears I visualize myself putting him in the box and closing the hatch. I can't hear him when he's in there and it's great. I have to admit that he can still get to me sometimes, but this little imprisonment thing has been really effective. Saboteurs do not give up easily, though, so don't beat yourself up if you are having trouble containing them. They have strategies, and they know us as well as we know ourselves. They know our weaknesses and how to hold us back or down. It takes practice and dedication to get to the place where you have more control than your saboteurs, where you are making active choices not to listen to what they have to say.
One of my preffered books on the saboteur calls the little brats Gremlins rather than saboteurs. Taming Your Gremlin is a fun and short book, with lots of pictures and good strategies for getting out of your own way.
It's not easy, this taming of your saboteurs, but it's an important thing to start to incorporate into your day-to-day routine. It's good for anything you've set as a goal, anything that feels big and scary and hard. Keeping your saboteur in check is also good for your health. They really can make you anxious, sad, and angry. And they're really nothing but self-defeating behaviors with loud mouths and ugly little faces.
Working to name your saboteurs can be hard, but it can also be the most freeing thing you can do for yourself. So give it a go. Write down your top five saboteurs and give them names. Try to visualize what they look like, what they might say, what they're doing, and where you might send them off to when they reappear. It can be a fun exercise, and next time they show up you'll know exactly what to do with them, and then you can continue on with the important tasks at hand.
Until next month....
Brooke
Go back to the WARNER COACHING home page
Saboteurs are very sophisticated, though. It's not like you can just take notice and then move right along into a space of creativity, joy, and massive output. No. They generally have the upper hand. We usually believe what they say because they know how to reach into the places in our hearts and minds where we're most vulnerable. They're always in attack mode. They like to guilt us, put us down, condescend. The biggest achievement a saboteur can claim is making you feel anxious, stalled out, and empty. Sound familiar?
There are strategies for dealing with saboteurs, though. The first step is noticing them and being aware that these are in fact saboteurs, and that you can tell them to go take a hike. You do not have to put up with their insults and destructive behavior. One really cool thing to do is visualize your saboteurs. You know that one who tells you not to worry about writing? You can do it tomorrow. Or hey, why not this weekend? There's an interesting show on TV tonight. Let's call this one Patty Procrastinator. She's a real gem. Super helpful, isn't she? If we took a moment to visualize her she might be decked out in week-old pajamas. She'd have a bag of chips in one hand and a Supersize soda in the other. She'd be ready to hit the couch and veg out in a serious way. Maybe your own procrastinator looks a little different. Maybe yours is super busy cleaning the house, so much so that she's convinced you that that's a way better use of your time than sitting down to that damned computer and trying to punch out a few lines that could always be written tomorrow. And they'd probably be way smarter and better tomorrow anyways!
If you can learn to notice, name, and visualize your saboteurs, you're well on your way to having a more productive writing practice. There are all sorts of ways to deal with them that are really fun. One of my recurring saboteurs is a real jerk. He's not nice to me. Makes me feel bad about myself. He's got a big mouth. I decided to set up a little prison for him on my desk, and if and when he appears I visualize myself putting him in the box and closing the hatch. I can't hear him when he's in there and it's great. I have to admit that he can still get to me sometimes, but this little imprisonment thing has been really effective. Saboteurs do not give up easily, though, so don't beat yourself up if you are having trouble containing them. They have strategies, and they know us as well as we know ourselves. They know our weaknesses and how to hold us back or down. It takes practice and dedication to get to the place where you have more control than your saboteurs, where you are making active choices not to listen to what they have to say.
One of my preffered books on the saboteur calls the little brats Gremlins rather than saboteurs. Taming Your Gremlin is a fun and short book, with lots of pictures and good strategies for getting out of your own way.
It's not easy, this taming of your saboteurs, but it's an important thing to start to incorporate into your day-to-day routine. It's good for anything you've set as a goal, anything that feels big and scary and hard. Keeping your saboteur in check is also good for your health. They really can make you anxious, sad, and angry. And they're really nothing but self-defeating behaviors with loud mouths and ugly little faces.
Working to name your saboteurs can be hard, but it can also be the most freeing thing you can do for yourself. So give it a go. Write down your top five saboteurs and give them names. Try to visualize what they look like, what they might say, what they're doing, and where you might send them off to when they reappear. It can be a fun exercise, and next time they show up you'll know exactly what to do with them, and then you can continue on with the important tasks at hand.
Until next month....
Brooke
Go back to the WARNER COACHING home page
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